may 9
day minus 1
one by one i have abandoned the accoutrements of the old life.
just ditching my keys left me feeling naked.
but what use have i for keys now?
no house.
no car.
no office.
no storage of useless possessions.
i have no need for keys.
and now most of the rest has gone with the keys.
boxed up,
and sent away.
leaving me with nothing but what i think i really need.
what i think i need enough to carry it across america.
this small collection of gear i carry on my back.
actually, it is far and away the largest pack i have ever carried on a journey run.
most of the additional weight is the price of running thru the seasons.
rain and cold temperatures must be taken into account.
but the bulk of my pack, maybe 10 pounds
pales next to the burdensome possessions that weigh down our real lives.
lives with more complicated problems.
tomorrow i will walk away from the sunrise free of any problems,
except staying alive.
keeping fed, and watered.
warming myself when i am cold,
cooling off when i am hot,
reaching shelter for another night…
and following the white line.
oh, it will take a while to free my mind of the everyday concerns.
while i focus on the truly important issues of life
the ones i used to solve by opening the fridge,
or adjusting a thermostat.
but these real problems will soon consume all my energy.
and that other life, of imaginary difficulties, will fade to the background.
what worries me tonight,
is what did i forget?
for what i have is what i have,
and what i need is what i will have to find.
or create.
or substitute.
or do without.
at least i have the comfort of knowing,
that this will be the last night i will have trouble sleeping because of nerves.
maybe soreness.
maybe being out on the side of the road somewhere…
but not nerves.
laz